Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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