He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
