i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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