i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
