I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
pray to the hookup gods
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
