dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
