My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
