she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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