There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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