No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
