i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
3 2 1 whiskey
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
