so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize