Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
