we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
