Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
