that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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