dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
