And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
