butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
