I want to walk on stilts...naked
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize