Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
