I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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