pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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