we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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