Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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