Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The adults are the big ones right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
