worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
the raccoons are back...
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