I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
3 2 1 whiskey
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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