I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
