I want to make a zoo with you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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