Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
