my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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