But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
