New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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