All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was born a porn star she said
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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