i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
