is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
