Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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