she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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