she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
