atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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