I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
