so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
