i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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