Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
