I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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