Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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