road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize