Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's a naked man in my car right now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
