somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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