You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have post one night stand depression
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
