After last night, I could never be a politician.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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