i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
