i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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