Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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