Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
