At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
